Weird Kid
by colourmebeautiful
Summary: A look into Simon's life before, during and after series one. Massive spoilers for series 1, and some bad language and sexy time.


**A/N: My look at Simon before, during and after Series One, just before Series Two starts. This story is rated M for a reason**.** Enjoy!**

"What the fuck are you doing?!" She was screaming, and he couldn't stop, he tried but he couldn't. He could feel the heat of the fire already, and the screaming woman behind him didn't really help. It stopped, finally, and he did up his trousers quickly, fingers fumbling and shaking. Then he stared at her for a second, just a second, and did the only thing he knew how; he ran. Ran through her front garden and into his house, locking the door and running upstairs, his breathing hot and heavy and painful. He could hear pounding on the door, but he ran to his bed, burying himself under the covers. The vodka he'd drank on the walk back from the party was still rushing round him, his head dizzy. He threw up then, on the floor, crying as he did it. He hated mess, and clearing it up in the morning would be horrible. If he was even here in the morning. Can you go to prison for trying to set light to someone's house, then pissing to try and put it out? All he could think about was the cat. He'd seen the cat on his wall, outside. He could have killed it. Oh God, if he killed a cat, he would be weird. Simon the Cat Killer. He could add it to all the other nicknames he had at school.

The judge looked at him like he was a mental person, but he seemed to be sympathetic. His mum was disappointed, but really she knew it was only a matter of time before he snapped. She'd seen him grow up, every day he was more withdrawn, shyer. He'd never been great at making friends, but the first day he came home after senior school, he had a cut on his forehead and his blazer was ripped. She knew then that her little boy wasn't quite right. She watches him stand in front of the judge, and she sees the relief spread over his face when he's sentenced to 200 hours of Community Service. He wouldn't last a day in prison.

--

It's the first day of community service, and he's never been so nervous. He feels like he's about to be sick, faint and just plain die. He's never been good around new people – they think he's weird, and nobody ever understands that he isn't, he's just shy. Sometimes he says stuff, and as soon as it leaves his mouth he wishes time would rewind and he could just keep his mouth shut. When he arrives, and goes into the changing room, it's just as he feared; he's surrounded by loudmouths, Chavs, one black guy who looks ok, and a girl who makes him wonder if you're allowed to show that much cleavage on community service. They all get changed together. This makes him nervous; it reminds him of PE, in Year 9, when Matt stole all his clothes and he ended up hiding in his locker for six hours until school was over and he could run and find some spare clothes from the storage room. Everyone had pointed and laughed at his weedy little body, and he'd been called Mouse Cock until he left.

The Irish guy looks his way a couple of times. He calls out "Alright?" to him, but Simon says nothing back, staring at the floor and unbuttoning his shirt. Thank fuck he remembered to put a t shirt under his regular shirt, he didn't fancy being topless in front of that guy. The last time he did that, he got nipple crippled so hard milk came out. The orange jumpsuits are strange (and his is a bit too tight for his liking), and makes him feel like a real criminal, instead of an attempted arsonist. He couldn't even set fire to something properly.

They're all lined up, by the rail next to the lake, and he's hunched over to try and be invisible. The Irish guy's spouting off about something, but he's trying not to listen, trying to focus on getting through the day without being beaten up.

"Y'alright there, weird kid?" Oh God, the name calling's started already. It was going to be a long 200 hours.

--

It had been a weird day. A really, really weird day. He lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling and trying to work out what had actually happened. It felt like it could all be a dream. He shouldn't be alive – being hit by lightning like that, it's meant to kill you straight away, or at least fry your organs a bit. He felt fine, except for the whole invisibility thing. He had to keep looking in the mirror, just to reassure himself he was still there. What if it went wrong, what if he couldn't change back? He'd be stuck that way forever. Not that it would change his life that much, in the long run. He closed his eyes, but he couldn't drift off. He didn't sleep that night. The next night, it was even worse. It was late, really late, and all he could think about was Gary and Tony. They were dead, and buried under the flyover. He felt bad, really he did, especially about Gary. He didn't deserve to be hacked to bits like that. He wasn't that nice (and Simon understood why he had an ASBO. Threatening to stab people wasn't the best way to make friends) but he was still a human, with a family and everything.

--

The Community Service seemed to get a bit better every session. Without Gary, the group's less volatile (though Kelly still punches Nathan whenever he acts like a twat, so he gets punched alot.) Sometimes, they talk to him, not Nathan, but Kelly, Curtis and sometimes Alisha. Alisha seems scared of him – well, he'd be scared too if he thought someone wanted to piss on him. Kelly sits with him sometimes, when they get there before everyone else. She's getting a bit mellower now, with everything that's happened. She asks him about his life, sometimes. He misses bits out, and says as little as possible. She smiles and moves the subject on to how smashed she got the night before. He doesn't mind though, because it's nice to talk to someone properly, without a computer screen. For once, nobody's taking the piss out of him, and it's like she actually cares about what he's saying. Then Nathan turns up and calls him an "uphill gardening turd burglar". Simon worries people think he's gay. He's not. The things he thinks about Kelly, he's really, really not gay. When Nathan walks off to get changed, Kelly looks at him walk away.

"Don't listen to what he says, he's talkin' bollocks. 'Ere, what's your mobile number?" He looks startled. "I'm not gonna text you nothin' dirty, I just thought – like, it'd be nice to have your number. In case there's an emergency or somethin'." He hands her his phone, and she enters her number and calls it, so she has his. "Righ', we betta go change. That bitch will be 'ere in a second." She hops off the bench and walks into the building. Sure enough, Sally's car pulls up, and Simon goes inside to change into the orange jumpsuit.

--

"They asked me if I wanted small or large. I said large." She smiles at him.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" It feels like an accusation. One that he's had before. Followed by a slap and cry of "RAPIST!" He didn't want that to happen this time.

"No!" She smiles, a little uneasily he thinks.

"I'm joking." She places her hand on his. "I think I should get you drunk."

"Why?" She wouldn't like him when he's drunk – he gets, well, _horny._ It's a genuine problem, especially as there's nothing he can do about it, not having a girlfriend or anything.

"I think you'd be quite cute when you're drunk." Then Matt walks in. He looks so smug, so normal. He completely fucked up everything, and he gets off scot free while Simon's stuck in community service and has nightmares about the time Matt pushed him against a wall, holding him by his throat. He thought he was going to die. Sally follows his gaze, and he finds himself telling her everything, about the cat, and Matt's mum, and everything. He feels a bit hurt when she laughs, like she thinks he's a twat, just like she does with Nathan. But then she apologises, but laughs again, and he finds himself laughing too. Like it doesn't matter anymore. It's time to look forward, to stop focusing on all the bad stuff that happened to him in the past. When she holds his hand, he feels like the happiest guy in the world. The look on Matt's face convinces him it's not worth obsessing over anymore. Maybe with Sally's help, he can change.

Watching her at home made him feel a bit weird, but he needed to – and he was glad he did. She was lonely, her tears proved that. She drank a lot, he noticed. A whole bottle of wine while he was there, plus the wine she'd had at the bar. He worried about her. She didn't speak to anyone the whole night he was there, not even on the phone. She cried in her sleep.

--

Sally's the cause of all his problems. She was acting so nice, and he really felt – well, it doesn't matter what he felt. It was all a lie, just to get him to confess to something he didn't even do. It was Kelly, not him, that kicked Tony's head in. But he helped bury the body. And he smashed Sally's head against the door. He didn't mean to – how was he supposed to know she'd hit the handle as hard as she did? He wanted her to just give in, to let him have the phone, to not go to the police. But that was never going to happen, was it? It was always going to end up in one of them getting hurt. He checked all the doors to the community centre were locked. Nathan wouldn't be back, he hoped, for hours yet. Now he just needed somewhere to put her. It made him feel sick, he'd killed someone. He thought he might pass out as he walked around, trying to find anywhere. Then he found a little room, a little room with a blue door. And an industrial sized chest freezer. Perfect.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye to her, not yet. It was comforting to him to sit in there with her, to watch her. Her face had contorted, and she looked scary, and her soft skin was freezing beneath his fingers, but while he was watching her, nothing bad could happen. The door was locked, nobody could stumble in and find this weird little scene. It was a secret.

--

He had to watch himself around Kelly. It was difficult, because Sally rarely left his thoughts. Once, she walked into the room and he didn't realise. He was invisible, just having a moment to himself.

"Simon, I know you're 'ere," she said, that weird way she said his name making it sound like he was called Salmon, "why the fuck are you thinkin' about the freezer upstairs?!" He went bright red, his stomach clenching. Just then, he reappeared. She jumped back. "Fuckin' hell, that will never stop bein' scary! Anyway, why d'you look so freaked out?"

"N-no reason." She stared at him, trying to hear his thoughts. _"Kelly, please. Leave me alone._"

"Alrigh' if that's how you're gonna be." She said grumpily, walking outside to find Nathan. Simon stared after her.

--

After Nathan died, everything was different. There was nobody taking the piss out of him, for a start. The four that were left were closer than before, all united by everything that had happened to him. Kelly had started to text him a couple of days after Nathan's funeral.

"_Thx 4 da dvd. It woz ded sweet of u 2 do tht. U made me cri u dick! :) Kelly_ x" The writing made his head hurt, but the thought made him smile. Nobody ever texted him, well, not to say nice things. He spent about fifteen minutes thinking of something to say back.

"_It's ok. Sorry it made you cry. I watched it again tonight. It nearly made me cry too. Simon x_"

"_u shudnt miss him, he woz a twat 2 u. I wish e woz stil ere tho. Cmmunty srvc iz gna b ded odd wivout 'im. K x"_

"_I know. It might be quite nice for me to go a whole day without being called 'weird kid' though. Not that I'm glad he's dead, it's just..well..you know what I mean."_

"_Yh, I kno. Evn tho es ded now dunt mean we hav 2 prtnd he wazn't a knob. He was ded orrible 2 u Simon, it woz nice of u 2 make da dvd in da furst plce. Mst ppl wuldnt do tht 4 sum1 lik him. K x"_

"_Thank you, Kelly. I made it for you though, not for him. Simon."_

"_U r so sweet. U gna tell me wht u did 4 us all tho? Its drivin me mental finkin bout wot it cld b. K x"_

"_It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we stick together now."_

"_U sound like sum weird creepy guy in a film, stop it ur freakin me out! :) K x"_

"_Sorry. Maybe one day I'll tell you though. Or I'll accidentally think about it when I'm with you. I'll see you tomorrow for our community service. Simon x"_

"_U beta tell me 1 day, or Ill follo u round till u fink bout it. Wot u doin 2nite? Dyou wanna go get a drink 2geva or sumthin?"_ That caught him off guard. He wasn't expecting her to even text back after his last message. He thought about it for about five minutes, until he realised the gap might make him look rude.

"_Yes. But can I pick the place? Some places I can't go in because I get spat on. Simon x"_

"_Lol y? Trst me, if im wiv ya no1's gonna giv u shit. I'll fuckin twat em if they do. K x"_

"_I can't let a girl fight for me. So can I pick the place?"_

"_Fine, whteva u wnt. But if sum1 finks shit bout u thy r ded. K x"_

"_Don't be silly. What about the Crown, near the community centre, at 8?"_

"_It's ded posh in ther tho, thy sell OLIVES. I dnt fink thyll like me in ther. K x"_

"_Just don't headbutt anyone and you'll be fine. Simon x"_

"_Cheeky bstrd! Well c u ther thn. Kelly x"_

He didn't consider it a date, more of a pity meeting. She arrived a bit late, but that was his own fault really as he always turned up ten minutes early to everything. She smiled when she saw him, and he went to get them drinks – Kelly asked for a WKD, he had a beer. When he sat back down, an awkward silence washed over them.

"Sorry for askin' you for a drink for no reason." Her voice was quiet, and she was staring at the blue liquid in the bottle. "I jus' don't like bein on my own that much. It makes me think about Nathan."

"Its ok." He wasn't really sure what to say, and just drank.

"It's ok, I know it must be difficult to think of somethin' to say to me. It's pathetic, we wasn't goin' out or anythin'. I shouldn't miss him this much."

Simon said nothing, but Kelly could hear him, of course she could. _"What do I say? I wish I was better at telling people how I feel. I just look like a dick._

"You don't look like a dick, Simon. It's nice to have someone who actually listens instead of just thinkin' how much they wanna shag me. It's what Nathan always did." She laughed and took a drink. He smiled at her, a proper smile – he hadn't smiled since the night Sally died. Before she died, not after. Kelly's phone was ringing, and she checked the screen and pressed hang up. "Oh for fucks sake!"

"What is it?"

"Fuckin' police officer callin' me again to tell me it's past my curfew. I'm not a fuckin' child and I've gotta be in by 7. How pathetic. How comes you don't have a tag?"

"I don't know. I just don't. I've never done anything before – n-not that I'm saying you have, I mean, just because my crime was p-provoked, oh shit, I mean.." He expected Kelly to punch him, but she was smiling.

"I don' mind, Simon. And I'm not gonna punch you, don't worry. What did you do, anyway?"

"I tried to set someones house on fire, I told you."

"Yeah, but why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Who's Matt?"

"What?"

"I've heard ya, thinkin' about him and that. Is he your boyfriend?" Simon spluttered.

"No! I'm not – I'm not a.."

"Chill out, I was jokin'. Did he give you a hard time at school?"

"Yes." _Don't ask me any more Kelly. I can't talk about it._

"Is he the reason you can't go in some places?"

"Him and other people. There was a gang. But he lives next door to me, so they knew where to find me." He drank more, looking at the floor. Kelly reached over to touch his hand, and his head snapped up. He looked startled.

"Don't worry, Simon. I'm not gonna hurt you, or take the piss outta you. You're a nice guy, honestly. Except, sometimes you can be a bit.."

"What?" _Creepy? Perverted? Scary? Oh my God what would happen if she knew the truth. Oh shit, Kelly, I mean.._

"What happened, Simon?"

"I-I can't..Kelly, I have to go. You should go home anyway, your tag, you don't want to get into trouble."

"Ok. I'll see ya tomorrow, yeah? 9am."

"Yes. Well – b-bye." He got up, nearly knocking a chair over as he went. Kelly stared after him, and pulled out her phone.

"_Nxt tym we go 4 a drink, dnt act like im abot 2 murdr u. Relx, ur a gd guy. I like talkin 2 u. Kelly x."_

He didn't reply.

--

"Never have I ever..been into watersports." Alisha cackled at him, and he looked around nervously. "Simon, go on!" She was grinning, hovering her hand over his. "Go on, otherwise I'll.." He drank the shot, even though it wasn't that true. Sure, he'd looked at some things, but he never actually thought about..on a girl. They were all out, celebrating Nathan's birthday. It felt weird without him there, though Simon suspected he would be miserable if Nathan was there. Everyone wooped, all of them drunk (except Simon, sort of, because he'd never done most of the stuff they talked about). Kelly was next to him, and they were all sat around a table in the community centre – Simon had taken the keys, as they'd all agreed it was the best place to have Nathan's party.

"Your go Simon." Curtis was wearing a long sleeved top, and put his arm around Alisha. She smiled, and leaned into him, careful not to let their faces touch. Simon felt a little pang of jealousy, and he took another deep drink.

"Never have I ever had sex." They all gasp, and all take a shot. When they're done, they stare at him.

"Seriously?" Simon nods, head down. Kelly stares at him, his thoughts clear in her mind. _Oh God, they all think I'm some loser virgin with weird piss fetishes. Maybe I am._

"You're not a loser Simon."

The big mistake was offering to walk her home. Somehow, their hands slip together while they walk, fingers threaded tightly. His heart is thumping, and his mind is racing. She can hear every word of course, but doesn't judge him for it. She's had too much to judge. Then they reach her flat, and it's like they've been struck by lightning all over again He doesn't know what's happened, but they're attached by the lips, him running his hands through her ponytail, pulling the hair band away so her hairs long, so he has something to run his fingers though properly. He's still jerky and inexperienced (and to be honest, even if he was experienced, she'd still be more experienced. He thought that later though, otherwise she'd have killed him) but she was being gentle with him. She unbuttoned his shirt (which took fucking _ages_, who buttons their shirt all the way up?) and he pulls her top off, plays with the hem of her skirt as they stumble towards her bedroom. Her head is filled with both their thoughts, a strange jumble of drunk, horny ramblings. He nips at her neck, hitting that spot just below her ear that Lee never found, and she grabs his belt, tugging at it off and pushing down his trousers. They fall onto the bed, he kicks his trousers off and yanks down her skirt, pulling her tights along with it, sucking on her neck, fumbling with her bra with one hand. His fingers trail up her thighs, and she grabs his head and pulls it up to her lips, kissing him hard. His thoughts are too rapid to make sense of; all she knows is that, right now, she wants him and he wants her too. His thoughts slow down, and she can hear them now.

_What about a –_

"I've got a condom, don't worry." He smiles nervously, and kisses her again. He's got out of the pace now, and he's realising what he's doing. He's not really moving, too nervous of doing something wrong. "Simon, are you alrigh'?" He nods and let's his hands move down again. Kelly squeaks as he slips his hand beneath the material of her knickers. He looks worried, and she tries to say it's ok, and then his thumb hits that spot and she can't say anything much. He rests his head on her neck, his breath fluttering against her combined with the increasing speed of his fingers making her squirm.

"Is this, I mean, is it – ok?" He brought his mouth down to her chest, and she nearly screamed. "Oh, Kelly I.."

"Shut up, shall I get the condom?" She didn't bother waiting for a verbal answer; she could hear _yes, yes, yes _racing through his mind. She rolled over, getting a condom out. She pulled down his boxers, blinking a little. _Oh god she's looking at my cock, she's looking at my cock.._ "Yeah I am. Is that ok?"

"Y-yeah." He took the condom from her, feeling very exposed, though the vodka made him feel more relaxed than he normally did. He put it on, and she climbed ontop of him. She was wasted, wobbling a bit, but he was too drunk to notice or even care. There was one second where they just stare at each other, and then he grabs her hips and pushes her down. They both groan loudly, and they move quickly, out of rhythm and biting out each others names breathlessly and shouting curse words as they near the end. Simon turns Kelly over so he's on top, and he thrusts hard and fast, all his pent up frustrations at being the only virgin in his age group for so long transferring themselves into this moment. Kelly's moaning words, and Simon tries to pretend he doesn't hear Nathan's name, and just focuses on the end goal, and when he reaches it, it's better than anything he could have imagined. He knows it's because he loves her. But he wouldn't tell her that for all the sex in the world.

--

"_Y did u leav wivout sayin bye? K x"_

"_I'm sorry, I thought you might be angry with me. Simon."_

"_4 wot???!!! K x"_

"_For sleeping with you when you were that drunk."_

"_U rlly fink i neva slept wiv ne1 wen i woz wasted b4? Ow u fink i met Lee? K x"_

"_Well, I'd never done that before. I'm sorry."_

"_Srsly? I woz ur first? GET IN! Woz it gud? K x"_

"_You know it was good. Simon."_

"_I dnt rememba much. U didn't piss on ma titz did u?"_

"_Very funny."_

"_Aw cmon dnt b lik tht! Only jkn, i rememba bits of it. U wer good. Rlly gd. U wnt 2 cm round l8r? I'll cook u dina. K x"_

"_What are you cooking?"_

"_Chikn ngts. K x"_

This felt too familiar. His mind drifted back to the night Sally was killed. He'd heard Nathan and Kelly talk. She cooked him chicken nuggets. For fucks sake, the guy had been dead for months but he was still making Simon feel like an insignificant piece of nothing.

"_What time should I come round? S x"_

--

And so they settled into a little routine. They weren't official, but they would see each other after community service, they'd hold hands when they were in bits of town where they wouldn't see any of Kelly's friends. Kelly would cook him chicken nuggets and beans, and he'd try and teach her about Doctor Who and filmmakers. They watch films together, some nights stuff like She's the Man and Romeo and Juliet (Kelly doesn't understand what they're on about, but she likes the angel wings and Leonardo Di Caprio is "one fit fucker".) Then she lets Simon show her 2001: A Space Oddessy. They normally got half way through a film before they ended up doing it on the sofa. Simon never imagined having sex to Star Wars. Turns out it's pretty good.

It was him who suggested they go to his grave. He hates that decision, the decision that fucked everything up. Everything was fine – he was happy, so happy for once – and then they went to his grave. In his mind, it would settle everything, make Kelly realise that he wasn't coming back. He'd seen her watch the dvd he'd made. She thought he'd gone home, but really, he was there. It had taken a lot of effort to stop thinking, but he managed it for two or three minutes at a time. Anyway, she couldn't hear thoughts all the time.

"_How fucking long has it been? I am so fucking bored. My balls are dry now, I'm fucking covered in dried spunk."_

"Simon!" she screams, and he wanders over from the bench where he'd sat to give her a moment by herself. "Simon get over here! I can hear him! I can hear him! We've got to tell someone, oh my god, get Alisha, get Curtis." He doesn't know whats going on, all he knows is that he feels like he's about to be sick. It's over.

They go back that night, he turns invisible and starts digging. Curtis is there (Alisha's under surveillance for breaking her curfew one too many times), and they're all hoping he'll be able to change back time if it all goes wrong. Grave robbing ASBO kids doesn't bode well. They dig deeper and deeper, and Kelly's jigging around, grinning. "I can hear him! I can hear him!" She's whispering, and with every crunch of shovel against soil, Simon feels a little bit worse. They reach the coffin, and Simon takes a deep breath and opens the lid. He hopes he'll find rotting flesh. He doesn't. He reappears, and Nathan jumps.

"What took you bunch of wankers so fucking long?" He jumps up, breathing deeply. Curtis and Simon pull him out of the hole, and he lands on the ground with a thump. He stands up, his legs wobbly after months of lying down. "I'm out! I'm alive! Oh my God I'm alive!" He lurches forwards and hugs Curtis, arms tight around his neck. Then he dances towards Simon, picking him up and spinning him round. Then Kelly runs towards him and kisses him. Simon feels like someone's punched him, really hard. Curtis is smiling and laughing, making some comment to Simon. All Simon can hear is the sound of blood in his ears. Then, it happens.

"Hey, where did weird kid go?!" Kelly stares at the space where he was.

"_I love you, Kelly."_

"Simon? Simon I know you're here!"

He still had 100 hours to go.


End file.
